slash emo...

Well... I am now the least educated person in my family. This past weekend, my 2 younger sisters graduated with their 4 year degrees. So now my dad and my sisters each have 4 year degrees, and my mother has an AA with some certificates. Leaving me at the bottom with only an AA. Though... I guess if you were to consider number of years in school, and number of scholarly books read, I'd be in first place... though that doesn't make me feel much better.

I guess I'm probably the black sheep in the family. I apparently take forever at school, can not find a date to save my life, and am the anitsocial person in my family. On top of that, I'm probably the one who is least likely to succeed. I mean... both the jobs I hold I have only because of family ties. Catherine got a job with one of the mid-western universities, and Christine was a member of enough student organizations to constitute at least one non-family job. Me though... the last job interview I had didn't even have a call back.

I know I shouldn't be so emo... I know I should be happy for my sisters... I mean, I'm not angry or upset with them or anything like that. It's just that I am extremely disappointed in myself and my own incompetence. I *should* have a 4 year degree now... I should be independent of my family now. I should be engaging in my own life, having at least some sort of romantic interest, and maybe doing something of importance. Instead, I feel like I'm the poster child for mediocrity and ineptitude. And the worst part of it all is... I only have one person to blame, and that's myself.

I did quit EvE Online again. At least I have some willpower. I made the decision about 2 weeks before finals. I don't know how much it helped my final exam grades, but I did pass both my classes. I don't think I'll go back to EvE Online anytime soon though, not because the game isn't fun, but because I want to do more with my life than virtual space ships.

For the last few... months? weeks? Year? I've been working on a novel... thing. I'm only putting a few hours into it per month, though since I've made the conscious to lower my video game addiction traits thingy, I've been working on it a little more. Also been working on some short stories as well. When I get something finished, or a chapter written on the novel thing, I'll post it here. Until then though, it'll be TOP SECRET!!!!!!!!! (Ok, the exclamation marks weren't necessary, but the capitalization was).

On a minor side note, I'm now 24... Which makes all I wrote above even more depressing...

Finally, Ryan... turned down? rejected? denied? my offer to date each other. Said something about being bipolar, and stress, and how those two things don't mix well with relationships. I don't know how true that statement was with him, but he was the most recent thing I had to the potential of... something more meaningfull than friendship. Been 3? years since I last went on a date. So... now I'm kind of emo about it.

Anyway, I have work tomorrow morning, and I need to find a way to figure out how to fund my summer classes since I might not be able to get a federal loan, so ~Night!