Sunrises

Well... I have decided I dislike sunrises. Not because of the sunrise themselves... in fact, I think most sunrises are pretty. No, my main reason for disliking them is because, if I see a sunrise, it normally means I've either stayed up too late, or woke up to early, and that I have a LONG day ahead of me. For example... saw a sunrise this morning and pulled a 14 hour (really need to stop my habit of putting 14h for 14 hour... EvE online has ruined all time abbreviations for me) work load today. So... I'm going to collapse into blissful unconsciousness, and post about Christmas and winter break tomorrow... ~Night!

Also, as a side note... I love firefox's automatic spell checking abilit

A new oppurtunity

Well... back in November, well, around November 25th-ish, I placed an application in at UCF for a programming position they had opened. I received a call from their HR department asking me if I'm still interested in the job. I told them yes, and I'll have a job interview on January 5th.

The position is for label "programmer" and is suppose to be a full time, Monday through Friday, job. Though, when I told the woman I was talking to on the phone that I'm still a UCF student, she said their may be an issue with me working full time with the school and taking classes, though it may be possible. If not, she said if I passed the interview I could at least work part time. In the very least, if I get the part time side, I can quit the job with my parents. If I could get a full time job, I could cut down my other job here in Orlando to a weekend and maybe some time after work.

I want to say I'm happy about this. I want to say I'm ecstatic. But... a part of me is also afraid of switching jobs. I know the status quoe isn't the best thing, especially when you're unhappy with life, but the unknown is also not a good thing, especially when you're about to try to be independent from your parents, and that hope rests on a job you haven't gotten yet. I'm also afraid that, even though I know I can program, and even though I have experience in C, C++, VB.Net, Java, HTML, and CSS (not all of it great experience, but still I could figure out how to write stuff in it given a book, a half hour, and a task), I'm afraid I might not be able to meet the job requirements. The last thing I want to do is quit my current job, get hired at UCF, then 3 weeks later get let off due to inability to perform duties. Yet on the same token, I also don't want to stay at my current job... but my current job is a stable (albeit annoying) source of income... But this new job promises to pay 4 dollars more an hour... It just... it's just confusing.

Kira had a Christmas party on Sunday night, and I was invited. I arrived late due to driving from work back in Bradenton (coming to Altamonte), and I had a decent time. I think that, combined with me restarting this blog, has resulted in me feeling a little better then I did at last post, though it may also be because I don't have any class until possibly the 11th. Or it may just be because I have some sort of chemical imbalance, and the chemicals I need just happen to be in ham and pecan pie. Though I don't think that last one is it. Did meet a cute guy there named Alex, but I guess he's currently Kira's friend with benefits, and I don't really want to get involved in her (Kira's) love life. That would just be kind of creepy. Ok, not just kind of...

Debating between taking the Foundations Exam on Friday or not. Haven't studied for it, so I probably shouldn't take it. But there's no penalty to failing it, so I have nothing to loose but the 3 hours it takes. Still, it's on a Friday, and that time could be spent traveling back to my parents... where I'll be stuck at till the 31st, since I have Jury Duty that day. I'll probably sign up for it tomorrow...

Anyway, I really need to log. It does feel good though being able to have a place again to write all my emo stuff, so I don't spend my days sitting there being emo, and instead only spend 30 or 40 minutes ranting about how, although I have decent friends and family, I can't somehow be happy. Anyway, ~Night!

I believe I hate school

I changed my major at UCF from Computer Engineering to Computer Science. I really want to do programming, and not the electrical/hardware side of computers, so it was probably the best decision I could make regarding my academic career. I don't know yet if it'll matter though, since I'm technically on Academic Probation (gee... working 2 jobs, one of them on the opposite side of the state, and trying to juggle a full course load, just doesn't work for some reason), and I use the word "technically" because, after this semester, I don't know if I'll still even be allowed in the Computer Engineering/Computer Science program. Don't think I did too well in my classes this semester (well, one class, the other 2 I think I placed a C or higher), but if my gpa doesn't average out to a 2.0, well... it won't be good academically. Not that anything I do is good academically. It also doesn't help that my student loans come due at the end of the spring semester. And since my college career is pretty much dead in the water, well...

I'm going to need to find a job in Orlando. A real one. That I can work full time. Preferably something technical. Then, maybe, I can take a night class each semester. Assuming I haven't messed things up too much. I mean... I really wish I didn't screw things up as much as I did. Maybe if I chose my own job, and handle my own financial stuff rather then let my parents talk me into letting them handle it, I might have been better off. Or maybe if I chose a different dorm for my first year. Or maybe if I was more social, I wouldn't spend my free time trying to distract myself from feeling like I'm worthless... Though, now I pretty much feel like I've left everyone I know down. I feel like one giant failure, and this is made worse by the fact that my sisters will both be graduating with their BA degrees come mothersday. And me? I'm going to be lucky if I can find some job to be able to keep myself in college. And the worst part? Maybe it would be better to do one final failure instead of a perpetual life of failures...

Getting away from the gloom of how my classes are going, I joined a writer's group in Orlando (well, technically Altamonte). Just something to be social with twice a month. I met the people at the local Barnes And Nobels (I'm there more often then I should be). Well... so far I haven't written much, but that's largely because I've only been to 2 or 3 of the meetings. Do have a few book ideas, and since finals are over, I may try to implement them. Also, the people in the group (only 5 of us) are pretty nice. They haven't kicked me out yet, so that's a good thing.

I think I kind of want a nook. Those things look awesome, though I have to admit, the average book price on those (9.99) is a little high, espicially considering the device costs 260, and that I can get a softcover book for 7 dollars new (after membership card). Though, I've heard rumors that the next kindle will be fully color, and it will use an IMOD display linky on IMOD here to get color, so that might be something better to save up for... except that the Kindle is on a closed platform, while the nook is on the Android OS, so if I ever wanted to code my own apps or anything, well, I'd be out of luck on the kindle. Also, the I may be wrong, but I heard the nook offers support on more ebook formats, so that's the way I'm looking... (Ok, the main reason I want an ereader is so I can read romance stories in public with out getting weird looks... one of the reasons I never pick up romance novels.)

Anyway, I'm going to log. Have work in the morning... Stupid job. ~Night!