Well... I have decided I dislike sunrises. Not because of the sunrise themselves... in fact, I think most sunrises are pretty. No, my main reason for disliking them is because, if I see a sunrise, it normally means I've either stayed up too late, or woke up to early, and that I have a LONG day ahead of me. For example... saw a sunrise this morning and pulled a 14 hour (really need to stop my habit of putting 14h for 14 hour... EvE online has ruined all time abbreviations for me) work load today. So... I'm going to collapse into blissful unconsciousness, and post about Christmas and winter break tomorrow... ~Night!
Also, as a side note... I love firefox's automatic spell checking abilit
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
A new oppurtunity
Well... back in November, well, around November 25th-ish, I placed an application in at UCF for a programming position they had opened. I received a call from their HR department asking me if I'm still interested in the job. I told them yes, and I'll have a job interview on January 5th.
The position is for label "programmer" and is suppose to be a full time, Monday through Friday, job. Though, when I told the woman I was talking to on the phone that I'm still a UCF student, she said their may be an issue with me working full time with the school and taking classes, though it may be possible. If not, she said if I passed the interview I could at least work part time. In the very least, if I get the part time side, I can quit the job with my parents. If I could get a full time job, I could cut down my other job here in Orlando to a weekend and maybe some time after work.
I want to say I'm happy about this. I want to say I'm ecstatic. But... a part of me is also afraid of switching jobs. I know the status quoe isn't the best thing, especially when you're unhappy with life, but the unknown is also not a good thing, especially when you're about to try to be independent from your parents, and that hope rests on a job you haven't gotten yet. I'm also afraid that, even though I know I can program, and even though I have experience in C, C++, VB.Net, Java, HTML, and CSS (not all of it great experience, but still I could figure out how to write stuff in it given a book, a half hour, and a task), I'm afraid I might not be able to meet the job requirements. The last thing I want to do is quit my current job, get hired at UCF, then 3 weeks later get let off due to inability to perform duties. Yet on the same token, I also don't want to stay at my current job... but my current job is a stable (albeit annoying) source of income... But this new job promises to pay 4 dollars more an hour... It just... it's just confusing.
Kira had a Christmas party on Sunday night, and I was invited. I arrived late due to driving from work back in Bradenton (coming to Altamonte), and I had a decent time. I think that, combined with me restarting this blog, has resulted in me feeling a little better then I did at last post, though it may also be because I don't have any class until possibly the 11th. Or it may just be because I have some sort of chemical imbalance, and the chemicals I need just happen to be in ham and pecan pie. Though I don't think that last one is it. Did meet a cute guy there named Alex, but I guess he's currently Kira's friend with benefits, and I don't really want to get involved in her (Kira's) love life. That would just be kind of creepy. Ok, not just kind of...
Debating between taking the Foundations Exam on Friday or not. Haven't studied for it, so I probably shouldn't take it. But there's no penalty to failing it, so I have nothing to loose but the 3 hours it takes. Still, it's on a Friday, and that time could be spent traveling back to my parents... where I'll be stuck at till the 31st, since I have Jury Duty that day. I'll probably sign up for it tomorrow...
Anyway, I really need to log. It does feel good though being able to have a place again to write all my emo stuff, so I don't spend my days sitting there being emo, and instead only spend 30 or 40 minutes ranting about how, although I have decent friends and family, I can't somehow be happy. Anyway, ~Night!
The position is for label "programmer" and is suppose to be a full time, Monday through Friday, job. Though, when I told the woman I was talking to on the phone that I'm still a UCF student, she said their may be an issue with me working full time with the school and taking classes, though it may be possible. If not, she said if I passed the interview I could at least work part time. In the very least, if I get the part time side, I can quit the job with my parents. If I could get a full time job, I could cut down my other job here in Orlando to a weekend and maybe some time after work.
I want to say I'm happy about this. I want to say I'm ecstatic. But... a part of me is also afraid of switching jobs. I know the status quoe isn't the best thing, especially when you're unhappy with life, but the unknown is also not a good thing, especially when you're about to try to be independent from your parents, and that hope rests on a job you haven't gotten yet. I'm also afraid that, even though I know I can program, and even though I have experience in C, C++, VB.Net, Java, HTML, and CSS (not all of it great experience, but still I could figure out how to write stuff in it given a book, a half hour, and a task), I'm afraid I might not be able to meet the job requirements. The last thing I want to do is quit my current job, get hired at UCF, then 3 weeks later get let off due to inability to perform duties. Yet on the same token, I also don't want to stay at my current job... but my current job is a stable (albeit annoying) source of income... But this new job promises to pay 4 dollars more an hour... It just... it's just confusing.
Kira had a Christmas party on Sunday night, and I was invited. I arrived late due to driving from work back in Bradenton (coming to Altamonte), and I had a decent time. I think that, combined with me restarting this blog, has resulted in me feeling a little better then I did at last post, though it may also be because I don't have any class until possibly the 11th. Or it may just be because I have some sort of chemical imbalance, and the chemicals I need just happen to be in ham and pecan pie. Though I don't think that last one is it. Did meet a cute guy there named Alex, but I guess he's currently Kira's friend with benefits, and I don't really want to get involved in her (Kira's) love life. That would just be kind of creepy. Ok, not just kind of...
Debating between taking the Foundations Exam on Friday or not. Haven't studied for it, so I probably shouldn't take it. But there's no penalty to failing it, so I have nothing to loose but the 3 hours it takes. Still, it's on a Friday, and that time could be spent traveling back to my parents... where I'll be stuck at till the 31st, since I have Jury Duty that day. I'll probably sign up for it tomorrow...
Anyway, I really need to log. It does feel good though being able to have a place again to write all my emo stuff, so I don't spend my days sitting there being emo, and instead only spend 30 or 40 minutes ranting about how, although I have decent friends and family, I can't somehow be happy. Anyway, ~Night!
Sunday, December 13, 2009
I believe I hate school
I changed my major at UCF from Computer Engineering to Computer Science. I really want to do programming, and not the electrical/hardware side of computers, so it was probably the best decision I could make regarding my academic career. I don't know yet if it'll matter though, since I'm technically on Academic Probation (gee... working 2 jobs, one of them on the opposite side of the state, and trying to juggle a full course load, just doesn't work for some reason), and I use the word "technically" because, after this semester, I don't know if I'll still even be allowed in the Computer Engineering/Computer Science program. Don't think I did too well in my classes this semester (well, one class, the other 2 I think I placed a C or higher), but if my gpa doesn't average out to a 2.0, well... it won't be good academically. Not that anything I do is good academically. It also doesn't help that my student loans come due at the end of the spring semester. And since my college career is pretty much dead in the water, well...
I'm going to need to find a job in Orlando. A real one. That I can work full time. Preferably something technical. Then, maybe, I can take a night class each semester. Assuming I haven't messed things up too much. I mean... I really wish I didn't screw things up as much as I did. Maybe if I chose my own job, and handle my own financial stuff rather then let my parents talk me into letting them handle it, I might have been better off. Or maybe if I chose a different dorm for my first year. Or maybe if I was more social, I wouldn't spend my free time trying to distract myself from feeling like I'm worthless... Though, now I pretty much feel like I've left everyone I know down. I feel like one giant failure, and this is made worse by the fact that my sisters will both be graduating with their BA degrees come mothersday. And me? I'm going to be lucky if I can find some job to be able to keep myself in college. And the worst part? Maybe it would be better to do one final failure instead of a perpetual life of failures...
Getting away from the gloom of how my classes are going, I joined a writer's group in Orlando (well, technically Altamonte). Just something to be social with twice a month. I met the people at the local Barnes And Nobels (I'm there more often then I should be). Well... so far I haven't written much, but that's largely because I've only been to 2 or 3 of the meetings. Do have a few book ideas, and since finals are over, I may try to implement them. Also, the people in the group (only 5 of us) are pretty nice. They haven't kicked me out yet, so that's a good thing.
I think I kind of want a nook. Those things look awesome, though I have to admit, the average book price on those (9.99) is a little high, espicially considering the device costs 260, and that I can get a softcover book for 7 dollars new (after membership card). Though, I've heard rumors that the next kindle will be fully color, and it will use an IMOD display linky on IMOD here to get color, so that might be something better to save up for... except that the Kindle is on a closed platform, while the nook is on the Android OS, so if I ever wanted to code my own apps or anything, well, I'd be out of luck on the kindle. Also, the I may be wrong, but I heard the nook offers support on more ebook formats, so that's the way I'm looking... (Ok, the main reason I want an ereader is so I can read romance stories in public with out getting weird looks... one of the reasons I never pick up romance novels.)
Anyway, I'm going to log. Have work in the morning... Stupid job. ~Night!
I'm going to need to find a job in Orlando. A real one. That I can work full time. Preferably something technical. Then, maybe, I can take a night class each semester. Assuming I haven't messed things up too much. I mean... I really wish I didn't screw things up as much as I did. Maybe if I chose my own job, and handle my own financial stuff rather then let my parents talk me into letting them handle it, I might have been better off. Or maybe if I chose a different dorm for my first year. Or maybe if I was more social, I wouldn't spend my free time trying to distract myself from feeling like I'm worthless... Though, now I pretty much feel like I've left everyone I know down. I feel like one giant failure, and this is made worse by the fact that my sisters will both be graduating with their BA degrees come mothersday. And me? I'm going to be lucky if I can find some job to be able to keep myself in college. And the worst part? Maybe it would be better to do one final failure instead of a perpetual life of failures...
Getting away from the gloom of how my classes are going, I joined a writer's group in Orlando (well, technically Altamonte). Just something to be social with twice a month. I met the people at the local Barnes And Nobels (I'm there more often then I should be). Well... so far I haven't written much, but that's largely because I've only been to 2 or 3 of the meetings. Do have a few book ideas, and since finals are over, I may try to implement them. Also, the people in the group (only 5 of us) are pretty nice. They haven't kicked me out yet, so that's a good thing.
I think I kind of want a nook. Those things look awesome, though I have to admit, the average book price on those (9.99) is a little high, espicially considering the device costs 260, and that I can get a softcover book for 7 dollars new (after membership card). Though, I've heard rumors that the next kindle will be fully color, and it will use an IMOD display linky on IMOD here to get color, so that might be something better to save up for... except that the Kindle is on a closed platform, while the nook is on the Android OS, so if I ever wanted to code my own apps or anything, well, I'd be out of luck on the kindle. Also, the I may be wrong, but I heard the nook offers support on more ebook formats, so that's the way I'm looking... (Ok, the main reason I want an ereader is so I can read romance stories in public with out getting weird looks... one of the reasons I never pick up romance novels.)
Anyway, I'm going to log. Have work in the morning... Stupid job. ~Night!
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Been Neglecting
I guess it's been a while since I last posted to my blog, though this is more of laziness than anything else. It's not that I've been any busier than I use to be, or that I have had more going on, it's just, I don't know. Each passing day I find it harder and harder to care about things that, a year ago I cared deeply about. My love of gaming and anime have almost completely disappeared, and I tend to spend my time alone more often then is probably healthy, though, who would I spend time with? Kira, one of my friends in Orlando, tend to be too busy with school and about a dozen theater projects, Gina lives in Maleborne now since she started at FIT about 2 years ago, Aaron now only calls me when he needs his computer fixed. And I have never been adept at making new friends... Am I such a horrible person that the people I know wish to spend no time with me?
School's not going any better. I'm currently on Academic Probation after last semester, and each day sees my will to succeed go lower. It's not that I don't like learning, just, College is designed in a way that is currently costly, uninspiring, and, well, sometimes, unneeded. I doubt I'd ever amount to anything that would need a college education, so why am I here? Though, I guess the uninspiring part is my fault. I mean, people who go on to college should be self driven. I was back at MCC, but now... It's just, I don't see much point in it all. Hell, most days I don't see any point in rising from my bed.
Maybe everyone hates me because I'm too depressing, or maybe because I'm too useless...
On the plus side, I've been reading a lot. Been reading tons of fiction books, and one of these days, I'll write something worth reading... maybe... assuming I don't do something stupid first. But, I own so many books now, it would be a shame not to read them all. I may not be able to find a boy who is actually interested in me, but at least I have books to read... Ya, I know, two completely unrelated things, but it's 1:30 in the morning here, so I should be allowed to be incoherent.
Anyway, I have work tomorrow morning (that's right, a blog post where I don't complain about my job), so ~night!
School's not going any better. I'm currently on Academic Probation after last semester, and each day sees my will to succeed go lower. It's not that I don't like learning, just, College is designed in a way that is currently costly, uninspiring, and, well, sometimes, unneeded. I doubt I'd ever amount to anything that would need a college education, so why am I here? Though, I guess the uninspiring part is my fault. I mean, people who go on to college should be self driven. I was back at MCC, but now... It's just, I don't see much point in it all. Hell, most days I don't see any point in rising from my bed.
Maybe everyone hates me because I'm too depressing, or maybe because I'm too useless...
On the plus side, I've been reading a lot. Been reading tons of fiction books, and one of these days, I'll write something worth reading... maybe... assuming I don't do something stupid first. But, I own so many books now, it would be a shame not to read them all. I may not be able to find a boy who is actually interested in me, but at least I have books to read... Ya, I know, two completely unrelated things, but it's 1:30 in the morning here, so I should be allowed to be incoherent.
Anyway, I have work tomorrow morning (that's right, a blog post where I don't complain about my job), so ~night!
Friday, February 27, 2009
What a glorius thing
Can't talk, Megacon is this weekend. After I get done typing this up (and a shower) I'm hitting the con. I'll give more information when I get back.
Also, I got replacement vehicle. It's a red Volvo 2000, and it was the only vehicle in my price range that wasn't leaking oil or had something horribly wrong. Given that, after tax, tag, and title it set me back 5,000, and my insurance payout on my Volkswagen was 6,000, I'm ok with it. Had it checked out at a tires plus, and the only thing it needs done is a break job. Though, truthfully, I'm also spending some of the insurance money on much needed Megacon things... =).
Also, I got replacement vehicle. It's a red Volvo 2000, and it was the only vehicle in my price range that wasn't leaking oil or had something horribly wrong. Given that, after tax, tag, and title it set me back 5,000, and my insurance payout on my Volkswagen was 6,000, I'm ok with it. Had it checked out at a tires plus, and the only thing it needs done is a break job. Though, truthfully, I'm also spending some of the insurance money on much needed Megacon things... =).
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Car Accidents Suck
Monday was not a good day. Well, it didn't start off as a bad day, but when I was driving to work, a guy turned in front of me, and, well, a crash happened. The other guy got the ticket for violating my right of way, but that doesn't make it any better. The insurance adjuster took a look at my car yesterday and pronounced it totaled. And I was just getting use to my vehicle. I mean, I was starting to like that car... I had spent 12,000 miles in it. It was MY car. It drove the way I liked driving it. I could listen to my Zune in it through the auxiliary audio cable. It got decent mileage... and now it's gone. Sure, I'm getting an insurance payment/check thing to replace it, but I'll have to get reattached to some other vehicle. It probably won't be greenish blue, not that the color matters or anything, but still. I mean, my old car wasn't anything more than a beat up station wagon, but still. It was like a friend. It was something I depended upon to get me from point A to point B. It was a place I could go to when I wanted to be alone and let the world fade away from me.
And then there is the other reason I'm down about it. I only had it for 5 months. My first vehicle. Gone in 5 months. Now, I have been driving for years, but those cars/trucks/things were all under my parents' name. This was under my name. And it's gone. In 5 months. FIVE months... I can't even be trusted to take care of something for five freaking months before I get it destroyed. How sad is that? Maybe the car would still be operational if someone else had bought it. I mean, it was a used car though, but I mean... I don't know. Anyway, if I don't beat myself over stuff, then who will?
Megacon is at the end of this month. Going to be buying my ticket at the end of this month. Now, granted, I've been saving up for it for the last 5 weeks, but I still feel guilty for going, espically after the accident. I probably won't have much money for the dealer room when I get there, but hopefully I'll be able to pick up a new anime for my shelf. Not that I've watched the ones I currently have. And not like I have much in the way of transportation to the convention...
Though, truthfully, I do have a loaner car. My boss at my job up here in Orlando has been working on a 1989 buick for the last couple of years, and has lent me the car until I can get a replacement for the one I've just got destroyed. It runs pretty smoothly, but when you turn the AC on it spits dirt at you, and the speedometer and the odometer don't function. Still, it's better than walking everywhere I go. I am pretty grateful he's lending it to me. Also, my boss was the one who picked me up after the accident. I may not like driving out to the job, but my boss is a good person. And if I had to have anyone as a boss, he'd be near the top of people I'd want.
The bulk of my tests are going to be the first week of March, so I guess I need to start studying. I'll try to post again later in the week. Aiming for at least 24 blog posts this year, though judging by how many I currently have, I don't know if I'll make it. So ~Night!
And then there is the other reason I'm down about it. I only had it for 5 months. My first vehicle. Gone in 5 months. Now, I have been driving for years, but those cars/trucks/things were all under my parents' name. This was under my name. And it's gone. In 5 months. FIVE months... I can't even be trusted to take care of something for five freaking months before I get it destroyed. How sad is that? Maybe the car would still be operational if someone else had bought it. I mean, it was a used car though, but I mean... I don't know. Anyway, if I don't beat myself over stuff, then who will?
Megacon is at the end of this month. Going to be buying my ticket at the end of this month. Now, granted, I've been saving up for it for the last 5 weeks, but I still feel guilty for going, espically after the accident. I probably won't have much money for the dealer room when I get there, but hopefully I'll be able to pick up a new anime for my shelf. Not that I've watched the ones I currently have. And not like I have much in the way of transportation to the convention...
Though, truthfully, I do have a loaner car. My boss at my job up here in Orlando has been working on a 1989 buick for the last couple of years, and has lent me the car until I can get a replacement for the one I've just got destroyed. It runs pretty smoothly, but when you turn the AC on it spits dirt at you, and the speedometer and the odometer don't function. Still, it's better than walking everywhere I go. I am pretty grateful he's lending it to me. Also, my boss was the one who picked me up after the accident. I may not like driving out to the job, but my boss is a good person. And if I had to have anyone as a boss, he'd be near the top of people I'd want.
The bulk of my tests are going to be the first week of March, so I guess I need to start studying. I'll try to post again later in the week. Aiming for at least 24 blog posts this year, though judging by how many I currently have, I don't know if I'll make it. So ~Night!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
First Post of 09
Well... this is the first post of 09. I didn't really make any New Year resolutions... well... except maybe find a boyfriend. But since I've been kind of trying to do that for the last year, well, I don't know how well that's going to go.
I'm also trying to do better in school, I guess, though this semester I'm only taking 3 classes (largely due to any of the classes I need being already scheduled.) The three classes I'm taking are Introduction to Thermodynamics, Electromagnetic Wave Propagation, and Digital Systems. Out of those classes, the Electromagnetic one is considered an elective, and the Digital Systems class is pretty easy (up until last semester, the class I took last semester, System Datapaths I think it was called, had Digital Systems as the Prereq. The teacher taught it as if everyone had already taken Digital Systems). Still, the math in two of my classes are going to be hard, and I need to spend more time studying and doing homework then I am currently doing. Hopefully I will... I'm at least taking better notes and reading over my previous notes.
I've started running along the circumference of UCF at night... Well, not so much running the entirety as running a portion, walking, then running again then walking. I'm hoping getting more exercise will help me to keep focus and maybe help me get a boyfriend, but that could just be crazy thinking on my part.
Anyway, just wanted to type up a "Hello, I'm still alive!" page...
Oh, over winter break I had an idea for an MMO. It would be a space based MMO that handled skills in a manner similar to oblivion, though without the levels... It would focus on about 3 factions, faction based PvP, but the cool thing would be the business model. Instead of a 15 a month fee, it would be free to play, though for 5 a month you'd get access to crafting abilities, a different 5 would give you access to truly lawless space, another 5 would give a capital ships license, and the final 5 maybe something like an Exotic Weapons license or something. And, instead of paying 20 a month, there'd be a option for all 4 licenses for 15 a month... that way, if someone wants to try out a game, or come back in after a break, they could hop right in... and if you had a PvPer or something with no interests in crafting, they could only pay for the parts of the game they'd use... Ya, I know it's all crazy, and I know I probably shouldn't be posting it on this blog... in public, but I think it is a good ides... but maybe I'm crazy... or, more exactly, I am crazy...
Anyway, ~Night!
I'm also trying to do better in school, I guess, though this semester I'm only taking 3 classes (largely due to any of the classes I need being already scheduled.) The three classes I'm taking are Introduction to Thermodynamics, Electromagnetic Wave Propagation, and Digital Systems. Out of those classes, the Electromagnetic one is considered an elective, and the Digital Systems class is pretty easy (up until last semester, the class I took last semester, System Datapaths I think it was called, had Digital Systems as the Prereq. The teacher taught it as if everyone had already taken Digital Systems). Still, the math in two of my classes are going to be hard, and I need to spend more time studying and doing homework then I am currently doing. Hopefully I will... I'm at least taking better notes and reading over my previous notes.
I've started running along the circumference of UCF at night... Well, not so much running the entirety as running a portion, walking, then running again then walking. I'm hoping getting more exercise will help me to keep focus and maybe help me get a boyfriend, but that could just be crazy thinking on my part.
Anyway, just wanted to type up a "Hello, I'm still alive!" page...
Oh, over winter break I had an idea for an MMO. It would be a space based MMO that handled skills in a manner similar to oblivion, though without the levels... It would focus on about 3 factions, faction based PvP, but the cool thing would be the business model. Instead of a 15 a month fee, it would be free to play, though for 5 a month you'd get access to crafting abilities, a different 5 would give you access to truly lawless space, another 5 would give a capital ships license, and the final 5 maybe something like an Exotic Weapons license or something. And, instead of paying 20 a month, there'd be a option for all 4 licenses for 15 a month... that way, if someone wants to try out a game, or come back in after a break, they could hop right in... and if you had a PvPer or something with no interests in crafting, they could only pay for the parts of the game they'd use... Ya, I know it's all crazy, and I know I probably shouldn't be posting it on this blog... in public, but I think it is a good ides... but maybe I'm crazy... or, more exactly, I am crazy...
Anyway, ~Night!
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