May!

Well, it's almost the end of May, and ya, my posting ability has gone down hill. The bright side of the month, though, was that I got to attend Jacon. It wasn't last weekend, but the weekend before (the 16th, 17th, and 18th). I did not have a costume per say, but I did pick up this loli-dress thing at Megacon, and I ended up wearing that on one of the days at the con.

Lately, I've just been apathetic though. And I mean more so than usual. I don't know, I just, don't really have a desire to do much. My view point of life at this current moment is something to kill the time between birth and death, and... well... I just... I don't know. It's not lack of sleep that's causing it, and it's not boredom. I want to say it's my normal level of depressionesqueness (ya, I invent new words), but... maybe being in Orlando, with less friends than I use to have back when everyone was in Manatee County, living with someone who is basically a complete stranger, with my only privacy being the time I spend in my car, and working two jobs, neither of which I actually willingly signed up for, might be having a toll after almost a year of living up here.

On the plus side I did meet a guy at Jacon. He's cute, into gaming (but not creepily so), and also watches anime. Him and I got together on Monday, played a few rounds of Advance Wars against each other, then we went back to his place. Everything was going well until he introduced me to his boyfriend, whom he lives with. Though I probably should have expected that since I met him at the yaoi pajama party.

Getting back to Jacon, I went with Kira (the girl I met at megacon) and a guy friend from my home town (Daniel, the one who works at the game store). We did have an enjoyable time... probably the only high point of the month.

My parents aren't doing too well together. I don't think they will go through with a divorce or something like that, but they aren't getting along as well as they use to. There's no direct fighting, but... I don't know. My dad's kind of getting a little bit controlling towards my mom, or a little bit jealous, or maybe a little bit of both, or maybe she's just trying to be more independent, and it's starting to annoy my father, or maybe they're both just crazy. They're also planning on moving soon, largely due to financial reasons, and they want me back "home" more often so I can help them pack everything and move. Well, that and my father thinks there's going to be a depression soon.

I put home in "" because I don't think I really know where I'm suppose to be. I mean, one of the reasons I went with that guy from Jacon (his name is Matt...) is so I'd have an excuse to not be down there on Monday (which was Labor Day, or Memorial Day, or one of those weird holidays). I had it off from work, and I really didn't want to be at my parents place. On the other side, I just, I don't like my living arrangements in Orlando. It just, doesn't feel like home here either.

Anyway, I'm going to log for the evening. That's enough of a long winded rant for one day.