Sunday is kind of like friday

Well... sorry about the lack of post on Friday. I was busy the whole day, well, outside of the sleeping part.

Having an actual day off, a day spent with friends and family and not either at work or at school, has made me feel a lot better. I have been having a lot of unhealthy, negative, and generally hurtful thoughts over the past month, which is one of the reasons why I haven't been posting regularly. Though getting more than 5 hours of sleep, being able to see friends, and going to a movie with my friends and my father on Friday has banished most of those thoughts.

There have been a few reasons why I've been having those thoughts recently. I'm not doing as well in my classes as I would have liked (I might end up retaking physics III), and feeling that, no matter what you do you're still getting a poor grade in the course and that your best effort is something that won't work for your major, is never good for moral. And I have at least 2 classes where I feel like this (though I think my grades are good enough in statistics and DVQ at the moment..)

Compund that with the fact I dislike both of my jobs... I've already ranted and raved enough about my station's job for anyone to know what I dislike about that job, but the other one I don't like either. I guess it might be because there is too much of that tedius office admin stuff about that job, or maybe it's the lack of coworkers. My other job, where I do the IT support, there's only myself and my manager, so no matter how well you get along with someone, certain mannerisms will eventually cause friction, and... I don't know. Like he has this way of going into in-depth life-story explanation whenever I bring up something non-computer related, and rather than give a straight or technical answer about something, he gives these overly lengthy speaches about the thing in question (like I asked him about about which graphics card I should upgrade to once, and he went into a 45 minute discussion on how graphics cards work). It's further compunded (ya, word of the day is compound...) by... I don't know... I mean, we get along well... maybe it's just the overly small office. He is a good guy, honest, hard working, loyal to those that are loyal to him, and very knowledgeable when it comes to computers, so I shouldn't have any qualms about him... but... I guess he's kind of like my dad... He's a good person and has numerous virtues, but I can only take him in small quantities...

Gina and I also haven't been getting along too well... well, it's less getting along and more of her being too busy to talk every time I call her. She's like the person I feel closest to, and I never get a chance to talk to her, so me slowly losing my friendship with her hurts... I just wish we could spend more time together... I miss being able to talk to her, and being able to do things at a moment's notice with her, and just all the stupid little things we did back at MCC, like hang out at Denny's until 3 am or have a 3 hour lunch at subway, or go shopping for clothes at the mall, or... I just miss doing all those little things with her, and I guess I feel more alone now with out someone to do that all with. I'm trying to develop a new friend's base up here, but...

Then there's EvE. I know I should probably quit it, but it's one of the few things I enjoy up here... it's like CoH, but more enjoyable, a stronger social group, more friends, and more of a sense of accomplisment. But I recently closed down the corp I've been running because of time constraints, and that kind of made me feel bad. I had spent a lot of time getting the corp up and active, invested a lot of energy into it, and to close it... I was CEO for about 6 months... that's kind of like having a job you enjoy, then out of the blue you quit. Or maybe it's like building a model of something, and right when you're about to put the last piece in place, after you spent all that energy building it, it shatters into a thousand pieces. Still... despite that, I'm in another corp, so I should be doing better...

Well... I need sleep for tomorrow, so I'm calling it a night... also, a certain someone needs to update their blog..

Post Coming Soon...

With finals coming soon, some shake ups in EvE, and my general self esteem at a low, I haven't had time to post =(. I should be posting soon though, probably the Friday after thanksgiving...