Well, I finally got Napster working properly. Now I can play music with out having numeours error messages! I've been looking at a lot of metal, but now that I'm starting to get into a better mood, I think I might start looking into soft rock again. Goo Goo Dolls are always good, Evan and John do some good stuff too, the Eagles are another excellent soft rock group, I mean the list just goes on and on. Even some country music is good (I said some. Most is too... well, crappy. Most of the guy singers are, anyway.)
I think I'm still going to pick up Harvest Moon, but since it's only 30, and not 60, I might have enough money to pick up a dvd drive. So I'll have one game to play when I need a distraction from my life, and another to play when I want to work out my frustrations on various things. OK, that might not be the best reason to play HL2, but it'll work for me.
One of my friends gets her paycheck tomorrow (hopefully I can get mine tomorrow, but if I can't I'll have to wait till Monday =( ) And we spent the evening looking at stuff at target. Even though we don't have money, that doesn't stop us from looking.
For those of you intrested in my writting, I started work on a CoH fan fiction (I scrapped the old one, kind of lost intrest.) I'm not sure if the Council or the Circle of Thornes will be the enimies. I do want to have a werewolf hunt in it, but it's magicly based. Maybe I could make it wolf demons instead..... but I'll figure something out. So far I have about a page and a half written. Not much, but it's better than nothing. The only thing I'm worried about in this writting is the dialog. I'm not that great writting dialog, so bear with it if it's too horrible. The discriptions I wrote should be good, though. At least I hoe so.
As for what I've been reading, I got my hands on a book of short stories, horror short stories. They're good, but none so far are scary, though I haven't read the one by Stocker, Wells, or Doyle yet (saving the best for last =) ). After this book, my next one will be... probally river god. Nothing else on my book shelf looks too intresting.
Work hasn't been too bad. Since my manager is out of time, I get a little free time, which means I can research some news stories. Most of them are tech related, which could have an impact on the insurance buisness, so that it's in my and my employer's best intrest to allow me to be informed on such information so that when the time comes, I may make a proper, correct descion. (If you believe this, then I have some water front property in Arizona to sell you.) Anway, I need to get some sleep, work tomorrow, and hopefully a paycheck. =).
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
It' been awhile
I know it's been a while, and I apologize for the lack of posts. I guess I kind of killed all hits to my blog... but if anyone IS taking time out of their busy day to read this, thanks for reading. Also, sorry this post is black and white.
The reason why I haven't posted is, well, apathy. It's hard to muster enough energy to care about posting on your Blog when you debate weather or not to wake up in the morning. I guess I really don't like my new job, which I will have been at for a full month starting tomorrow. I don't know why I don't enjoy it. I guess it might be that IT makes a neat hobby, but not a neat career. It's too.... I don't know. But the job is needed. Some people at my office don't even know what My Computer is. One person was trying to access files by attaching them to an email. Then she wondered why she had numerous copies of the file. But it's not ignorance. It's something that claws at my soul. Tears at my being. That spas my energy away, leaving only an empty shell of a person. Or that maybe I don't get home till 8. Which means I spend 12 hours doing work and school related stuff. That'll increase to 14 when the new semester starts. At least 14. I'll have morning classes, my Job in the middle of the day, evening classes, and then I'll have to close the lab. End result: I won't be home till 10. When I'll leave it at about 7:30.
But as much as I dislike being a tech person thingy, I can't help but be geekier with each passing day. I now fantasize about putting cathode lighting in my computer!!! Or running something with 4 gigs of RAM!!!! It's pathetic.
On a less pathetic note, they've released a new copy of Harvest Moon. This one where you play as a girl. I loved the orginal one for the SNES, but I haven't played any new ones. (Technicly, I played the orginal on an emulator, but....) Since I liked the orginal so much, I'm going to purchase the newest one. Of course, that'll only add one more game to my to play list, Half Life 2 being at the top. (OK, I know what this sounds like, but they're going to put out new consuels soon, and that ussualy means stores will get rid of all the old consel games. Not by sale, just by not reordering any. DVD drives on the other hand, will be around even after Blu Ray drives are released.) (OK, I know that's a weak argument, but come on!!! I need more gamecube games!!! I would like to get res. evil on it though, and Silent Hill 4 on my xbox, and maybe still frame, and.... )(I do not have a horror problem!!!!!!) But where was I? OH ya, I'm probally going to pick up Harvest moon with my next paycheck. The paycheck after that will go to a new DVD drive, and the one after that will pay off my preorder on Civ4. (The civ games are the best!) After the civ game is payed off, the next check will go to paying off my zelda reservation. I don't care what anyone says, but Zelda is an excellent seris, and Wind Waker was opne of the best ones in the seiris. (Yes, I know. Crap graphics. But it's still good.) As to the games I need to ACTUALLY play... hehe. I have a long list of games at home that I have yet to finish. Stupid CoH, and your socializing. Wow, I am a geek.
Anyway, I need to log now, sorry again for the lack of posts.
The reason why I haven't posted is, well, apathy. It's hard to muster enough energy to care about posting on your Blog when you debate weather or not to wake up in the morning. I guess I really don't like my new job, which I will have been at for a full month starting tomorrow. I don't know why I don't enjoy it. I guess it might be that IT makes a neat hobby, but not a neat career. It's too.... I don't know. But the job is needed. Some people at my office don't even know what My Computer is. One person was trying to access files by attaching them to an email. Then she wondered why she had numerous copies of the file. But it's not ignorance. It's something that claws at my soul. Tears at my being. That spas my energy away, leaving only an empty shell of a person. Or that maybe I don't get home till 8. Which means I spend 12 hours doing work and school related stuff. That'll increase to 14 when the new semester starts. At least 14. I'll have morning classes, my Job in the middle of the day, evening classes, and then I'll have to close the lab. End result: I won't be home till 10. When I'll leave it at about 7:30.
But as much as I dislike being a tech person thingy, I can't help but be geekier with each passing day. I now fantasize about putting cathode lighting in my computer!!! Or running something with 4 gigs of RAM!!!! It's pathetic.
On a less pathetic note, they've released a new copy of Harvest Moon. This one where you play as a girl. I loved the orginal one for the SNES, but I haven't played any new ones. (Technicly, I played the orginal on an emulator, but....) Since I liked the orginal so much, I'm going to purchase the newest one. Of course, that'll only add one more game to my to play list, Half Life 2 being at the top. (OK, I know what this sounds like, but they're going to put out new consuels soon, and that ussualy means stores will get rid of all the old consel games. Not by sale, just by not reordering any. DVD drives on the other hand, will be around even after Blu Ray drives are released.) (OK, I know that's a weak argument, but come on!!! I need more gamecube games!!! I would like to get res. evil on it though, and Silent Hill 4 on my xbox, and maybe still frame, and.... )(I do not have a horror problem!!!!!!) But where was I? OH ya, I'm probally going to pick up Harvest moon with my next paycheck. The paycheck after that will go to a new DVD drive, and the one after that will pay off my preorder on Civ4. (The civ games are the best!) After the civ game is payed off, the next check will go to paying off my zelda reservation. I don't care what anyone says, but Zelda is an excellent seris, and Wind Waker was opne of the best ones in the seiris. (Yes, I know. Crap graphics. But it's still good.) As to the games I need to ACTUALLY play... hehe. I have a long list of games at home that I have yet to finish. Stupid CoH, and your socializing. Wow, I am a geek.
Anyway, I need to log now, sorry again for the lack of posts.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
One before midnight
For once, I've been able to get to my computer before midnight!!! Yay!!!! ANyway, today my family and I went to Bush Gardens. It's a theme park located about an hour's drive away from me. (It's actually in tampa, I'm just located in the Bay Area.) It's a fun theme park. Has a lot of stuff to keep you occupied. As with any themepark, though, we spent most of our time in lines. We really didn't do too much there. But since we live so close, we tend to get the season passes, so not too much was lost.
After Bush gardens, I decided to play the half life two demo. It kind of seems like my type of thing, except there's some glitch on the demo where you can't see stuff like amunition, combustibale things, certian walls, and enemies. So it probally would be funner to actually play the game. I wish my DVD drive still worked! Untill I get a new one, I won't be able to reformat my Hard Drive, since my CoH disk is a DVD. I just kind of want to start over from scrath with my computer. Besides, it'd cost me about 2k to build the machine I want, and I don't have anywhere near that kind of funds. But it'd be soo cool to put an UV Cathode light, along with some UV cables and stuff.... =).
After my fun with the hal life two demo, I catched up on some of my anime. Blood the last vampire was kind of a disappointment. I enjoy dark type of things, and it has it. Unfortunatly, it doesn't really have a plot line. Or character development. OR any real horror. It's just.... I don't know.
Hopefully tomorrow, I'll get my first paycheck from my new employer. Then I'll be able to buy Volume three of Red vs Blue. I've been looking foreward to seeing it. Anyway, night!
After Bush gardens, I decided to play the half life two demo. It kind of seems like my type of thing, except there's some glitch on the demo where you can't see stuff like amunition, combustibale things, certian walls, and enemies. So it probally would be funner to actually play the game. I wish my DVD drive still worked! Untill I get a new one, I won't be able to reformat my Hard Drive, since my CoH disk is a DVD. I just kind of want to start over from scrath with my computer. Besides, it'd cost me about 2k to build the machine I want, and I don't have anywhere near that kind of funds. But it'd be soo cool to put an UV Cathode light, along with some UV cables and stuff.... =).
After my fun with the hal life two demo, I catched up on some of my anime. Blood the last vampire was kind of a disappointment. I enjoy dark type of things, and it has it. Unfortunatly, it doesn't really have a plot line. Or character development. OR any real horror. It's just.... I don't know.
Hopefully tomorrow, I'll get my first paycheck from my new employer. Then I'll be able to buy Volume three of Red vs Blue. I've been looking foreward to seeing it. Anyway, night!
Sleep is a good thing
Today was one of my friends 19th birthday. To celebrate ot, we kind of just hung out. We don't really do too much down here in bradenton. Not because there is not a lot to do, one can always find something to do, just because we don't really look to hard for stuff to do. I wish I could do more stuff with my friends though. At least, most of them. I have one friend who is the most cynical person I know. He doesn't have that type of outgoing personality that most people tend to have. He has that type of personality that seems almost like he expects everything to fail, for something to go wrong, for something bad to happen. I know that on occasion, I've written some bloggs that seem kind of depressing, but my friend just seems worse. And it's not that he's depressed. IT's that he has such a negative view of everything I guess. Furthermore, he doesn't do anything to try to better his situations, and always tries to justify everything he does. I worry about him, because that's not how one should go through life. I know I don't give it my best all the time, and I know I'm not always the most cheerfull person, but I do tend to look on the brighter side of issues, and I do tend to try to be optimistic about things. I know I've been dissapointed a few times, but that's better than always being right. He, on the other hand, is always right about situations, because he sees the wrost that will happen, and then I guess tries to get the worst result. He hates his job (I know I complain about my job, but I don't really hate it. I can just get frustrated with it at times), but he hates his job, yet when a job that pays about the same opens up, he creates BS reasons as to why he should stay at his current job. Furthermore, he has this tendancy to hate ignorance, yet doesn't seek to enlighten himself, and believes his opion is the right opion. He also hates debating anything. I have an opinion, I debate it, but I know that it could be wrong (not likely, But I've been wrong before.) I'm just worried about him, since I don't think that he'll be happy about anything unless he actually changes what he does.
Myself, though, is a differnt matter. There is a lot in my life I'd like to change. I'd like to change my field of expertise (away from computers, if I could), for starters. Maybe to writting, if I could write well enough. SOme people tell me I write well, but I'm not to sure. The longest thing I've ever written was an 8 paged story. That's nowhere near novell length. Furthermore, I don't write too often. I waste all my time on video games and stuff like that when I should be writting. But when I actually get a pencil and paper together, I can't think of anbything to write. So I'll sit there, for an hour it feels like, writting nothing. Someone needs to tie me to a chair and force me to write, it seems. What I'd like to know is, how did I ever get so good with computers? When I think about it, I don't think I know too much about computers, yet everyone else seems to think so. But then, I guess, people in other fields feel that way. Still, out of all the hobbies in the world, I got into computers more than anything else. More than poety, more than reading, more than painting, more than just hanging out with people.
So I guess it's true, computers do control the world.
I found out my DVD drive is burned out, so I'll need to replace it. And one month after warrenty, too. Next time, I'm just better off building my own computer. Though next time, I'm going to get a glass case and get my hands on some cathode lights. I want to make my computer look all nice and shinny, and I'll need to get a 512 videocard. That'll be a huge upgrade compared to the 128 one I have right now. And one gig of ram.... I guess I'm kind of hypocritical, too. My field is my hobby, though, so I guess that's all I have t fall back upon. Anyway, I need to get logging off now. Night!
Myself, though, is a differnt matter. There is a lot in my life I'd like to change. I'd like to change my field of expertise (away from computers, if I could), for starters. Maybe to writting, if I could write well enough. SOme people tell me I write well, but I'm not to sure. The longest thing I've ever written was an 8 paged story. That's nowhere near novell length. Furthermore, I don't write too often. I waste all my time on video games and stuff like that when I should be writting. But when I actually get a pencil and paper together, I can't think of anbything to write. So I'll sit there, for an hour it feels like, writting nothing. Someone needs to tie me to a chair and force me to write, it seems. What I'd like to know is, how did I ever get so good with computers? When I think about it, I don't think I know too much about computers, yet everyone else seems to think so. But then, I guess, people in other fields feel that way. Still, out of all the hobbies in the world, I got into computers more than anything else. More than poety, more than reading, more than painting, more than just hanging out with people.
So I guess it's true, computers do control the world.
I found out my DVD drive is burned out, so I'll need to replace it. And one month after warrenty, too. Next time, I'm just better off building my own computer. Though next time, I'm going to get a glass case and get my hands on some cathode lights. I want to make my computer look all nice and shinny, and I'll need to get a 512 videocard. That'll be a huge upgrade compared to the 128 one I have right now. And one gig of ram.... I guess I'm kind of hypocritical, too. My field is my hobby, though, so I guess that's all I have t fall back upon. Anyway, I need to get logging off now. Night!
Friday, July 15, 2005
Another day
First off, sorry about the lack of posts over the two days. I've been having some computer problems, so I didn't have too much oppurtunity to post. If anyone's wondering, no I haven't played half life2 yet, since the bulk of my computer troubles revolve around me trying to get my very crappy DVD drive working.
The harry potter book comes out tonight, if I preordered it, I would be there, right now, getting my copy. Instead, my sisters are getting a copy, so when they're done with their's, I'll just borrow it off of them. I'm kind of looking forward to the new harry potter book. The seris has been getting darker.... =)
I know my posts have been either short or nonexistant recently, but I'm going to go to sleep. Most nights I don't get home till around 10, and since I normally wake up at about 7, that leaves me about 2 hours to do stuff. Unfortunatly, I have a lot of stuff I have to do, and Blogging isn't on the top of the list. I wish it was, or at least, I wish I could write my blogg well. Unfortunatly, I don't. I might as well put this in some crayola font with how well I write it. ANyway, night.
The harry potter book comes out tonight, if I preordered it, I would be there, right now, getting my copy. Instead, my sisters are getting a copy, so when they're done with their's, I'll just borrow it off of them. I'm kind of looking forward to the new harry potter book. The seris has been getting darker.... =)
I know my posts have been either short or nonexistant recently, but I'm going to go to sleep. Most nights I don't get home till around 10, and since I normally wake up at about 7, that leaves me about 2 hours to do stuff. Unfortunatly, I have a lot of stuff I have to do, and Blogging isn't on the top of the list. I wish it was, or at least, I wish I could write my blogg well. Unfortunatly, I don't. I might as well put this in some crayola font with how well I write it. ANyway, night.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Physics and what not
Well, today was a busy day. At work we started installing a third server. We got the racks built for it, and we installed it's back up power source, a battery that can run the server for 30min. The thing weighed a ton!!!! Other than that it was good.....
After work some friends and I hung out at the mall. We had chinesse food, and I picked up Half Life 2. I haven't had a chance to install it yet, but maybe, just maybe, it'll get one of my (on-line) friends to quit bothering me about it. I own it, I'll install it, I'll play it, I'll go back to civ. The last time I played a shooter was about a month ago. It was Halo2, and I'd probally still be playing it if one of my friends didn't lock out my xbox live account. Of course, he did, so.... IT's not that I don't enjoy shooters, I do, it's jsut that I perfer building a civilization, building a complex infostructure, and all in all nurturing a thriving empire. Don't ask me to go to war, but if you need some one to increase income by about 50 a turn.... that's what I like doing in games. I like advancing that kind of stuff, and I like competiton in those types of strategy games. That's why I'm not a big fan of Roller Coaster Tycoon. The game gets boring after a while, it gets repetitive when you don't have the occasional outside source to spice things up. FPS's, though, are too competitive. You get into a group of players, and all they'll want to do is kill. I enjoy playing these type of games, espically after a long day of school or work, but I enjoy doing more than ruthless killing (I was going to say mindless, but I know it's not that.) But I'm going to give Half Life 2 a chance.
After I got half life two, I dropped a letter over at my friend's parent's house. He'll be graduating from boot camp on the 15th, and I won't be able to attend because of my new job. His parents are going, so I gave them a letter to give to him. It's only 2 pages long. I wish I could have found more to write about. You'd think that after 3 months of being away, I could write at least 7 pages, but no, 2's my limit. I miss him. A lot. He's my best friend. I can think of only one other person who I'd rather spend time with, but she and I aren't as close as him and I (sorry, but we're not. We're close, just one notch away, but...). I really wish I could have went. I do. I miss him. But I'll be able to go see him in mid August, when he gets restationed in Washington DC. That'll be good, right? He'll want to see me, right? I'll be able to make the drive from tampa to DC in one day, so I should only have to take a Friday and Monday off. Anyway, I'm going to install Half Life, have a good night everyone!
After work some friends and I hung out at the mall. We had chinesse food, and I picked up Half Life 2. I haven't had a chance to install it yet, but maybe, just maybe, it'll get one of my (on-line) friends to quit bothering me about it. I own it, I'll install it, I'll play it, I'll go back to civ. The last time I played a shooter was about a month ago. It was Halo2, and I'd probally still be playing it if one of my friends didn't lock out my xbox live account. Of course, he did, so.... IT's not that I don't enjoy shooters, I do, it's jsut that I perfer building a civilization, building a complex infostructure, and all in all nurturing a thriving empire. Don't ask me to go to war, but if you need some one to increase income by about 50 a turn.... that's what I like doing in games. I like advancing that kind of stuff, and I like competiton in those types of strategy games. That's why I'm not a big fan of Roller Coaster Tycoon. The game gets boring after a while, it gets repetitive when you don't have the occasional outside source to spice things up. FPS's, though, are too competitive. You get into a group of players, and all they'll want to do is kill. I enjoy playing these type of games, espically after a long day of school or work, but I enjoy doing more than ruthless killing (I was going to say mindless, but I know it's not that.) But I'm going to give Half Life 2 a chance.
After I got half life two, I dropped a letter over at my friend's parent's house. He'll be graduating from boot camp on the 15th, and I won't be able to attend because of my new job. His parents are going, so I gave them a letter to give to him. It's only 2 pages long. I wish I could have found more to write about. You'd think that after 3 months of being away, I could write at least 7 pages, but no, 2's my limit. I miss him. A lot. He's my best friend. I can think of only one other person who I'd rather spend time with, but she and I aren't as close as him and I (sorry, but we're not. We're close, just one notch away, but...). I really wish I could have went. I do. I miss him. But I'll be able to go see him in mid August, when he gets restationed in Washington DC. That'll be good, right? He'll want to see me, right? I'll be able to make the drive from tampa to DC in one day, so I should only have to take a Friday and Monday off. Anyway, I'm going to install Half Life, have a good night everyone!
Monday, July 11, 2005
Sorry for the short post
Well, my teacher cancelled class today, giving me an extra day to go over my speech. Since I wrote it up last night at 3 am, I think I should take this oppurtunity. Sorry for the not too long post tonight, but I need to finish my speech. (and get some sleep for once!)
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Day after Hurricane Denis
Well, I'm feeling a lot better today than I was the last few days. Don't really know why I feel that way sometimes, but....
Anyway, I have decided that the ability to create playlists and play any music I want to on Napster is worth the 10 dollars a month. I like it a lot, though that's probally because I spend most of my time on my computer.
For those people wondering if I wrote anything today, the answer is yes. I wrote 500 words so far of my fanfiction, though I need to add a lot more to it.
I'd have to say my favorite part of writting is writting the descriptions of things. It's easiest for me to do that. I enjoy giving those dark descriptions to things, and making anything a mortifying thing. I enjoy setting those moods of foreboading and terror, and then to build apon it, and build and build, untill I get to the ending. Then I pull a trick at the ending. That's what I like to do. But the trick can't be something obvious. It has to be a hint, it has to be something that you'd have to read the story to get. Like in that short story I posted on my blog. That ending, that surprise. If I can't do that, then I tend to scrap the story. That's happened to a few I've written. Finished the rough draft, and decided to toss it since I couldn't think of a better ending then what I wrote.
Anyway, the extent of the damage of the storm here in the bay area (tampa bay) is about an hour's worth of yard waste to pick up. My sisters wern't home, so I had to do it myself. They had to go up to gainsville, for some camp or something. Anyway, I have a paper and a speech to write. Good night everyone!
Anyway, I have decided that the ability to create playlists and play any music I want to on Napster is worth the 10 dollars a month. I like it a lot, though that's probally because I spend most of my time on my computer.
For those people wondering if I wrote anything today, the answer is yes. I wrote 500 words so far of my fanfiction, though I need to add a lot more to it.
I'd have to say my favorite part of writting is writting the descriptions of things. It's easiest for me to do that. I enjoy giving those dark descriptions to things, and making anything a mortifying thing. I enjoy setting those moods of foreboading and terror, and then to build apon it, and build and build, untill I get to the ending. Then I pull a trick at the ending. That's what I like to do. But the trick can't be something obvious. It has to be a hint, it has to be something that you'd have to read the story to get. Like in that short story I posted on my blog. That ending, that surprise. If I can't do that, then I tend to scrap the story. That's happened to a few I've written. Finished the rough draft, and decided to toss it since I couldn't think of a better ending then what I wrote.
Anyway, the extent of the damage of the storm here in the bay area (tampa bay) is about an hour's worth of yard waste to pick up. My sisters wern't home, so I had to do it myself. They had to go up to gainsville, for some camp or something. Anyway, I have a paper and a speech to write. Good night everyone!
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Still Happy
Well, first off, I'd like to apologize for my most recent post and the lack of post before that. Both were due from a combination of apathy, weariness, CoH, and happy thoughts. Most of today was filled with those happy thoughts, too, but I'm feeling a little better now.
Anyway, a lot did kind of happen yesterday. I saw punisher yesterday. It was OK, but seemed to be more of a low budget film then anything else. I helped one of my friends set up his computer. He got an external harddrive to back up all of his old information, than we deleted and repartiioned his Hard Drive, reinstalled windows, put on ALL the windows updates, installed antispyware, the works. I think I'm going to try to rely on computers less for my entertainment now. It's not that I don't enjoy gaming, it's that it now reminds me of my job. Not that I don't like my job, it's just that no one wants to be stuck at work.
As to the hurricane, Yes I know Denis is coming. No, he won't hi the tampa bay area, yes I know it hit catagory 5 before striking cuba. I now work in an insurance company, so I hear about it a lot. That and my manager wasn't too happy friday (yesterday) becuse he was suppose to be in the keys...
It's not that I dislike my job, it's just that it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like something I'd want to spend my life doing, or what I was put here to do. It just doesn't. I don't know what I'm meant for, and I don't like thinking about it, for then my thoughts linger to the fact that so many people need to keep satistics accurate, and that the suicide rate in the US is about 30,000.
Anyway, today has been fun. We got most of what hurricane dennis will deal to us today, including a few hours with out power. Tomorrow is my sisters' Birthday, but since they're leaving for some sort of volleyball camp thingy, we celebrated it today. My gift to them was Norton Internet Security Suit. I think they liked it, but I'm not sure.
I put Napster on my computer. No more illegale downloading for me! (yar). I wish the supream court did not side on the side of the music companies. I know music ARTIST (and not blod sucking recording companies) have a right to have compensation for their music, and I respect that right, but shpuld it be at the cost of slowing technical advancement? I mean, who knows what type of file sharing programs that could have been develpoeted not for copyright infringement, but for office use, and home use. Now, though, companies won't develpoe such programs for fear of copy right infringement. Surly the music industry could have thought of some better method to continue to make profits then by suing children and slowing technological progress (I know, I know, let's incourage music advancement! But all the music I like is from countries with less stern copyright laws, like Italy, Germany, and I'm not sure, but I think Japan has less stern copyright laws then we do.) Tomorrow I have a free day, so I might spend it on my computer writting. I might actually do a fan fiction of my CoH alter ego, Kalda Centauri. If anyone has a good idea for which villian group I should go against, give me an idea, else I'll be going against either the Hellions or the Valhazics. Anyway, I have to get going, night!
Anyway, a lot did kind of happen yesterday. I saw punisher yesterday. It was OK, but seemed to be more of a low budget film then anything else. I helped one of my friends set up his computer. He got an external harddrive to back up all of his old information, than we deleted and repartiioned his Hard Drive, reinstalled windows, put on ALL the windows updates, installed antispyware, the works. I think I'm going to try to rely on computers less for my entertainment now. It's not that I don't enjoy gaming, it's that it now reminds me of my job. Not that I don't like my job, it's just that no one wants to be stuck at work.
As to the hurricane, Yes I know Denis is coming. No, he won't hi the tampa bay area, yes I know it hit catagory 5 before striking cuba. I now work in an insurance company, so I hear about it a lot. That and my manager wasn't too happy friday (yesterday) becuse he was suppose to be in the keys...
It's not that I dislike my job, it's just that it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like something I'd want to spend my life doing, or what I was put here to do. It just doesn't. I don't know what I'm meant for, and I don't like thinking about it, for then my thoughts linger to the fact that so many people need to keep satistics accurate, and that the suicide rate in the US is about 30,000.
Anyway, today has been fun. We got most of what hurricane dennis will deal to us today, including a few hours with out power. Tomorrow is my sisters' Birthday, but since they're leaving for some sort of volleyball camp thingy, we celebrated it today. My gift to them was Norton Internet Security Suit. I think they liked it, but I'm not sure.
I put Napster on my computer. No more illegale downloading for me! (yar). I wish the supream court did not side on the side of the music companies. I know music ARTIST (and not blod sucking recording companies) have a right to have compensation for their music, and I respect that right, but shpuld it be at the cost of slowing technical advancement? I mean, who knows what type of file sharing programs that could have been develpoeted not for copyright infringement, but for office use, and home use. Now, though, companies won't develpoe such programs for fear of copy right infringement. Surly the music industry could have thought of some better method to continue to make profits then by suing children and slowing technological progress (I know, I know, let's incourage music advancement! But all the music I like is from countries with less stern copyright laws, like Italy, Germany, and I'm not sure, but I think Japan has less stern copyright laws then we do.) Tomorrow I have a free day, so I might spend it on my computer writting. I might actually do a fan fiction of my CoH alter ego, Kalda Centauri. If anyone has a good idea for which villian group I should go against, give me an idea, else I'll be going against either the Hellions or the Valhazics. Anyway, I have to get going, night!
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Happy thoughts
Almost didn't post tonight. Almost decided that sleep is more important, which isn't true. Today was a pretty good day, actually, except for right now, that is. I don't know why I think these thoughts, I jst do. Everynight, before I fall asleep, all I can focus on are my flaws and screwups. All I can think is that I'm somehow a horrible person, and despite what I try to tell myself, despite what I think, there is a part of me that KNOWS this is a fact, knows it as a truth. And so everynight, as I lay staring at my cieling, I think these thoughts, and because there is a lot I hate about me, a lot I hate about myself, I have a lot to think about. I know I'm the jester in a group, but I wish I think before I act. I end up coming off as some stupid child to everyone. Even my friends. But if I minimize my contact with people, I won't act childish around them. But I need human contact. I hate being alone. Because being alone is meaningless. Yet every moment with others makes being alone even worse. And I know that that's all I have to look foreward to in life. I know that, when it comes down to it, my future will be a dead end job, living in an empty apartment. ANd so I think about a way to end that problem. A way to not end up living in an empty apartment. Watching everyone I know go far away from me. I don't want to see my friends move, I don't want to see them start a family, because I know that will end up being more time alone, being one step closer to the future I fear. But living alone isn't the only thought in my head. I hate how long it takes for me to get things done. I hate how I procrastinate. But everyone haes that about themselves. I hate how I burden my troubles onto others. I can not stand the thought of people I love, and people I don't know, worrying about me, wasting their time with thoughts that I might do something when they can be thinking about happier things. I know that if they worry about me, then they care for me, but it's unfair for me to do that to them. I also seem to never be able to accomplish something. In highschool, I had an oppurtunity to have college fully paid for, and I screwed it up. So bad that I almost fluncked out og highschool. A 1.9 GPA isn't a good thing to have in your sophmore year. I graduated out of Highschool, with a 3.0 oddly enough, but now I'm in college. Granted I still have a 3.0, but now I'm majoring in computer science, not psychollogy. My own descision, but still. I want to graduate with a psych degree, and move on to a PhD. I want to start my own practice. But I know I don't have the knowldage neccesary to get a medical degree. I know I can't study bio or chemistry with out failing it. Knowldage is power, ya right. Ignorance is bliss when one looks at oneself. I also wish I could spend more time with my family, but I never do. Largely because we have nothing in common, and I'm too busy distracting myself from life to see them. Yes, they live in the same place I do, but on average, I probally have about 10 hours a week worth of contact with them. Not that more would help any. If I had more, I'd somehow get dragged into doing some sort of project or other. That's not how I want to spend my time, and I know no one does either. But still, there has to be some other way to spend time with everyone. Some way that we all enjoy... I'm sorry to burden everyone with this stuff, so I won't continue on.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Missed independance day...
Well, sorry for the lack of post yesterday. Between independance day festivities and an 8 hour City of Heroes Task Force, I didn't have the time to post (OK, I know I could have posted instead of playing City Of Heroes, but it was the first time all weekend...). For dinner last night I had some left overs, and I don't think they reacted nicely with my stumach. Espicially because the left overs didn't want to stay in my stomach. After I got some sleep, I felt better and went off to work.
Work went well today. Being my third day there, I actually did some stuff that made me feel like I accomplished something. I helped move and set up computers in the new office. Not too much work involved in setting up computers, but at least it's better than running window's updates.
Anyway, for my speech class tomorrow, I have to give an informative speech on coal power. I've actually done some research on it (no winging it for me!) and have determined that nuclear power is a better alternative. Coal, when burned, produces organic sulfur. That, combined with oxygen, produce Sulfur Dioxide, which has been proven to cause acid rain. Furthermore, a by-product of coal is Carbon Dioxide, a greenhouse gass. As we all know, greenhouse gasses contribute to global warming, which is staring to become, if not already, a large ecological issue.
Nuclear power, on the other hand, is safer than the media and ignorant masses would like one to believe. In it's history, there has only been one nuclear meltdown. I understand one is one too many, but also consider that that type of reactor has not been used in the United States, at least to the best of my understanding. To my understanding, chernobyl's Reactor used a steam cooling system (and not a liquid water system), something that America's reactors never used. Furthermore, there was a blatant disregard for saftey procedures. Those two things, COMBINED (not seperate) caused the reactor malfunction and ultimate meltdown. As I said earlier, American reactors use liquid water, and not steam, as the coolant. Not only does this lower tempatures better than steam (it's cooler for one...), but it also absorbs neutrons. When Uranium splits, it releases Neutrons, which may hit other Uranium atoms, which would cause those to split. Water absorbs some of these Neutrons, which althougth lowers thermal energy created, makes it safer.
Wow, I sound like I know what I'm talking about.
There is always the issue of storage, though, and this is what people who are against Nuclear power point to. There has been plans to create a radioactive storage facility in Nevada, away from any population. Radioactive waste could be placed here until it either becomes unradioactive, or we create a use for it. I know there are some other enviormental issues about Nuclear power, largely about the mining of Uranium, but when one pound of Uranium can produce the amount of energy that one million gallons of gasaline can produce, I believe that acquiring that one pound of Uranium might be more enviromentaly friendly than acquiring the one million gallos of gasoline.
Finally, for philosophy, I have done some research on the topic, largely back in High School. From what I remember, most western philosophies devise their core ethics from Christianity. Even if one were to look at the Greek Philosophies, one has to remember that it was Christian Scholars who copied, translated, and censored the orginal manuscripts. Not that there is anything wrong with the ethics of christianity, but if I'm escaping the Dogma of Chrisitanity to go to Philosophy, am I sure I want something influenced by what I'm escaping? Eastern Philosophies tend to focus on one's duty to one's family and country. I by that case, than it'd be my duty to represent my family in the best on light to their friends, relatives, and buisness associates. Therefore, I'd have to be well versed in Chrisitianity and it's concepts, and act as one would assume a christian acts, at least amongst influencial people. So no, I can't seek refuge with the east. That leaves me with the God of America, capitalism. No other country practices their religion so well as us Americans, and no other country is rewarded as well. Mother Teresa might have fed thousands, but Bill Gates created Microsoft, and thus Millions of jobs, each one feeding at least one person. So you be the judge of who did the most good.
Anyway, I have a speech I have to write. Night!
Work went well today. Being my third day there, I actually did some stuff that made me feel like I accomplished something. I helped move and set up computers in the new office. Not too much work involved in setting up computers, but at least it's better than running window's updates.
Anyway, for my speech class tomorrow, I have to give an informative speech on coal power. I've actually done some research on it (no winging it for me!) and have determined that nuclear power is a better alternative. Coal, when burned, produces organic sulfur. That, combined with oxygen, produce Sulfur Dioxide, which has been proven to cause acid rain. Furthermore, a by-product of coal is Carbon Dioxide, a greenhouse gass. As we all know, greenhouse gasses contribute to global warming, which is staring to become, if not already, a large ecological issue.
Nuclear power, on the other hand, is safer than the media and ignorant masses would like one to believe. In it's history, there has only been one nuclear meltdown. I understand one is one too many, but also consider that that type of reactor has not been used in the United States, at least to the best of my understanding. To my understanding, chernobyl's Reactor used a steam cooling system (and not a liquid water system), something that America's reactors never used. Furthermore, there was a blatant disregard for saftey procedures. Those two things, COMBINED (not seperate) caused the reactor malfunction and ultimate meltdown. As I said earlier, American reactors use liquid water, and not steam, as the coolant. Not only does this lower tempatures better than steam (it's cooler for one...), but it also absorbs neutrons. When Uranium splits, it releases Neutrons, which may hit other Uranium atoms, which would cause those to split. Water absorbs some of these Neutrons, which althougth lowers thermal energy created, makes it safer.
Wow, I sound like I know what I'm talking about.
There is always the issue of storage, though, and this is what people who are against Nuclear power point to. There has been plans to create a radioactive storage facility in Nevada, away from any population. Radioactive waste could be placed here until it either becomes unradioactive, or we create a use for it. I know there are some other enviormental issues about Nuclear power, largely about the mining of Uranium, but when one pound of Uranium can produce the amount of energy that one million gallons of gasaline can produce, I believe that acquiring that one pound of Uranium might be more enviromentaly friendly than acquiring the one million gallos of gasoline.
Finally, for philosophy, I have done some research on the topic, largely back in High School. From what I remember, most western philosophies devise their core ethics from Christianity. Even if one were to look at the Greek Philosophies, one has to remember that it was Christian Scholars who copied, translated, and censored the orginal manuscripts. Not that there is anything wrong with the ethics of christianity, but if I'm escaping the Dogma of Chrisitanity to go to Philosophy, am I sure I want something influenced by what I'm escaping? Eastern Philosophies tend to focus on one's duty to one's family and country. I by that case, than it'd be my duty to represent my family in the best on light to their friends, relatives, and buisness associates. Therefore, I'd have to be well versed in Chrisitianity and it's concepts, and act as one would assume a christian acts, at least amongst influencial people. So no, I can't seek refuge with the east. That leaves me with the God of America, capitalism. No other country practices their religion so well as us Americans, and no other country is rewarded as well. Mother Teresa might have fed thousands, but Bill Gates created Microsoft, and thus Millions of jobs, each one feeding at least one person. So you be the judge of who did the most good.
Anyway, I have a speech I have to write. Night!
Monday, July 04, 2005
One day short of independece
Since my Aunt just moved into her new house, my family decided to give her a house warming gift. Our gift to her was that we'd do her yard today. Since her yard haddn't been mowed since it was sodded, the yard wasn't in that great of a condition. The yard was in such bad shape that it broke our lawn mower, and I had to finish the yard with a weedwacker. That's not fun in Florida. Not fun at all.
Anyway, after we took care of her lawn, as is costumary with my family, we had a 4th of July party. There was food, fireworks, and friends. Unlike last year, no one in my family got drunk and lit a firework upside down, and unlike New Years, we didn't shoot any bottle rockets into our neighbor's pool (if anyone asks, it was unintentional... ). A few of my friends came over for the party, and we hung out together. One of my friends couldn't come, though. She's 16 (I'm 19) and her parents don't aprove of her hanging out with college people. They kind of want her to hang out with people her own age. Only problem is she's home schooled, and takes course at the local community college for dual credit. The people her age in her youth group don't have admirable qualities, at least, that's what she says, and she tends to try to stay away from people her own age because of how immature she believes they act. I personally think her parents are being over protective, but that's just me. I kind of miss her, though, since I haven't seen her since the fall semester. I know I talk with her online all the time, but it just not the same. You can't have too many friends, right?
I don't have much else to say tonight, except that I really need to post my stuff earlier. I think I have better posts if I do it ahead of time, and not the moment before I go to sleep. I would also like to thank everyone who commented on my last post. I don't know what everyone finds so intresting in my life, but thanks for reading.
Anyway, after we took care of her lawn, as is costumary with my family, we had a 4th of July party. There was food, fireworks, and friends. Unlike last year, no one in my family got drunk and lit a firework upside down, and unlike New Years, we didn't shoot any bottle rockets into our neighbor's pool (if anyone asks, it was unintentional... ). A few of my friends came over for the party, and we hung out together. One of my friends couldn't come, though. She's 16 (I'm 19) and her parents don't aprove of her hanging out with college people. They kind of want her to hang out with people her own age. Only problem is she's home schooled, and takes course at the local community college for dual credit. The people her age in her youth group don't have admirable qualities, at least, that's what she says, and she tends to try to stay away from people her own age because of how immature she believes they act. I personally think her parents are being over protective, but that's just me. I kind of miss her, though, since I haven't seen her since the fall semester. I know I talk with her online all the time, but it just not the same. You can't have too many friends, right?
I don't have much else to say tonight, except that I really need to post my stuff earlier. I think I have better posts if I do it ahead of time, and not the moment before I go to sleep. I would also like to thank everyone who commented on my last post. I don't know what everyone finds so intresting in my life, but thanks for reading.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Moving in florida
Well, today I helped my aunt move out of the house. She had a lot of furniture to move, so it took most of the day. My dad is happy that she's out. Well, not happy that she's out, but that his house is finally his and his direct family's again. My aunt never really participated too mcuh with the family. She kind of kept to herself, locked in her room. The two things that really annoyed my parents, though, was that she was an alchoholic, and she smoked. She also never wanted to do anything with anyone. Ever. She was content to be in her room. Alone. She might not have been happy there, but she was determined to pass the time there. I don't know how I should feel about her, either her being here for a year, or her leaving us. When she was here, and it was just me and her in the house, I'd kind of feel akward around her. I guess that's better than feeling alone. But... I don't know.
I'm looking at my keyboard, and wow, is it dusty...
After we helped her move, we went to church. It was the standard service. I resent being there, resent being one of the few people in a congergation of 400+ people (only about 75 on Saturday nights) that actually does something there. Then the congergation complains that stuff isn't happening as they want it to. I also resent being dragged there every Saturday night. And when the hymns are sung, I can't help but think how much beutifull music was put toward this reliogn. I want to say wasted on, but I know that's not it. People invest their faith, their lives into Christianity, and they should. The religion has done a lot of good in the world. I understand it's also done a lot of bad, but over all it's done good. Maybe I'm just trying to not offend too many people. Christianity, and espicially Luthernism, is not the religion for me. I don't really know what is. As of yet, I have not been able to find something to devout my life to,something I can do religiously. Most people I know have found something to devouit their lives to, but not me. All religion does for me is leave me feeling trapped. Cornered. Like there is no way out. Where most pious christians feel love, I feel abandonment, where they feel unity, I feel discord, where they see a fruitfull future, I find a dead end and wasted time. I know I'm like this every Saturday night, and I apologize for the long, antireliogion melodrama I play out. I'm sorry for it.
I'm looking at my keyboard, and wow, is it dusty...
After we helped her move, we went to church. It was the standard service. I resent being there, resent being one of the few people in a congergation of 400+ people (only about 75 on Saturday nights) that actually does something there. Then the congergation complains that stuff isn't happening as they want it to. I also resent being dragged there every Saturday night. And when the hymns are sung, I can't help but think how much beutifull music was put toward this reliogn. I want to say wasted on, but I know that's not it. People invest their faith, their lives into Christianity, and they should. The religion has done a lot of good in the world. I understand it's also done a lot of bad, but over all it's done good. Maybe I'm just trying to not offend too many people. Christianity, and espicially Luthernism, is not the religion for me. I don't really know what is. As of yet, I have not been able to find something to devout my life to,something I can do religiously. Most people I know have found something to devouit their lives to, but not me. All religion does for me is leave me feeling trapped. Cornered. Like there is no way out. Where most pious christians feel love, I feel abandonment, where they feel unity, I feel discord, where they see a fruitfull future, I find a dead end and wasted time. I know I'm like this every Saturday night, and I apologize for the long, antireliogion melodrama I play out. I'm sorry for it.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Sleepy time soon
Today at work, I finished up updating all the computers in the office. That took me 4 hours. My manager wasn't there today, so that adds even more importance to my job, though people talked to me today! My coworkers talked with me. It kind of made me feel that I belonged there. Kind of. The lack of a manager and doing the basic windows updates, on the other hand...
After work, I went home and took a 4 hour nap. After the nap, I helped my aunt move to her new place. She has been living with us for about a year now, and my father is happy she's finally moving out. I guess I am too. It's not that I dislike my aunt, but it's that she's not the best house guest to have. I'll visit her when she moves, but that's about it.
I was suppose to talk to one of my friends online tonight, but since I got home late, I doubt he waited for me. (3 hours isn't an insane amount of time to ask, is it?) If he's reading this, I'll be on tomorrow (saturday, the second) at 9pm. I'll see you then.
Anyway, I'm sleepy (ya, I know, but a four hour nap doesn't cut it), so night night!
After work, I went home and took a 4 hour nap. After the nap, I helped my aunt move to her new place. She has been living with us for about a year now, and my father is happy she's finally moving out. I guess I am too. It's not that I dislike my aunt, but it's that she's not the best house guest to have. I'll visit her when she moves, but that's about it.
I was suppose to talk to one of my friends online tonight, but since I got home late, I doubt he waited for me. (3 hours isn't an insane amount of time to ask, is it?) If he's reading this, I'll be on tomorrow (saturday, the second) at 9pm. I'll see you then.
Anyway, I'm sleepy (ya, I know, but a four hour nap doesn't cut it), so night night!
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