Well, today I helped my aunt move out of the house. She had a lot of furniture to move, so it took most of the day. My dad is happy that she's out. Well, not happy that she's out, but that his house is finally his and his direct family's again. My aunt never really participated too mcuh with the family. She kind of kept to herself, locked in her room. The two things that really annoyed my parents, though, was that she was an alchoholic, and she smoked. She also never wanted to do anything with anyone. Ever. She was content to be in her room. Alone. She might not have been happy there, but she was determined to pass the time there. I don't know how I should feel about her, either her being here for a year, or her leaving us. When she was here, and it was just me and her in the house, I'd kind of feel akward around her. I guess that's better than feeling alone. But... I don't know.
I'm looking at my keyboard, and wow, is it dusty...
After we helped her move, we went to church. It was the standard service. I resent being there, resent being one of the few people in a congergation of 400+ people (only about 75 on Saturday nights) that actually does something there. Then the congergation complains that stuff isn't happening as they want it to. I also resent being dragged there every Saturday night. And when the hymns are sung, I can't help but think how much beutifull music was put toward this reliogn. I want to say wasted on, but I know that's not it. People invest their faith, their lives into Christianity, and they should. The religion has done a lot of good in the world. I understand it's also done a lot of bad, but over all it's done good. Maybe I'm just trying to not offend too many people. Christianity, and espicially Luthernism, is not the religion for me. I don't really know what is. As of yet, I have not been able to find something to devout my life to,something I can do religiously. Most people I know have found something to devouit their lives to, but not me. All religion does for me is leave me feeling trapped. Cornered. Like there is no way out. Where most pious christians feel love, I feel abandonment, where they feel unity, I feel discord, where they see a fruitfull future, I find a dead end and wasted time. I know I'm like this every Saturday night, and I apologize for the long, antireliogion melodrama I play out. I'm sorry for it.
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6 comments:
Wow, every Saturday huh? Lot of churchgoing on the East Coast, it seems, as Ohio is littered with churches. There are churches across from churches well beyond the point of ridiculousness. One of the close by ones is kind of famous for its giant statue, the Solid Rock Church. Of course, everyone seems to ignore its ridiculous proceedings, but oh well. Not much churchgoing in California, or at least a lot less, I guess. I haven't been in a church since I went to NY, I believe. And this was also when I stood on top of the World Trade Center, so it wasn't yesterday. If you're looking for a new religion, I hear Scientology is hiring, if you're interested. :)
lol. I don't know which religion I'm looking for. I'll keep researching them, though
Go ahead and hide out..No one is going to say much to someone who uses anonymous identity on a blog...
wow... that's a lot to say about religion. I don't think I ever thought about it quite like that before. Thanks for your comment.
Me thinks cayetano has been innocutated with a syringe full of Pleonasm.
But isn't much western philospohpy based upon the ideals in christianity? For an example, let's take Voltaire. His belief was that when people get into groups, and are in large social settings, they become less empathetic and less civilized. He believed that every person should have a garden, and make it their life effort to take care of that garden, as obviously suggested in his famous book Candid. He furthermore based this theory on the concept that God created man to maintain the garden of Eden.
You also are suggesting for me to check out greek philosophy, something that on the surface should be christian free. In reality, however, the only copies of greek philosophy still in tact have been cencored by numerous christian scholars through out the countless ages since they had be concieved.
I would consider modern philosophy, but for the obvious fact that most of them go out of their way reject concepts in chrisitianity, at least, with what I have seen of it.
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